Those that know tell me no, but they don't understand. They don't understand that the pain makes me feel better. They don't understand that it's my release. I don't see what's wrong with it. It's my body, not theirs. I'm not hurting them or anyone else, so why can't they just leave me alone? Some of you may be like, "Why can't you see that cutting is a bad thing?" or whatever. I just don't. I don't see that there's anything wrong with it. The only problem is me. I know what I've done in my life, and I know that I don't deserve any better. And don't even try to tell me that I do; you don't know me. It's hard, though, always hiding. I hate it. I can't wait until I can get away from my freaking house and away from my family. My mom is overly protective, and it pisses me off. It makes me feel helpless. I mean, I'm not going to go against her and blatantly disobey her, but I'm not really seeing any other options. I've tried negotiating, but it's always "It's not you that I don't trust. It's other people I don't trust." I'm fifteen freaking years old. I can't even walk around my block alone. I'll probably be able to drive to Illinois by myself before I can even walk freely around my home town. That's part of the reason I cut. I just get so angry and I can't take it out on anything but myself. I'd get hell for yelling at her or punching a hole through the wall, so I hide and deal with it my way. But it makes me feel better, honestly. Sure, it's a temporary fix, but I'm not feeling actively suicidal right now. Anyway, I just had to get some of that off my chest. Kudos to you if you even cared enough to read this far.